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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467267">not your fault</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/imcrapatthiswritingshitbutitry/pseuds/imcrapatthiswritingshitbutitry'>imcrapatthiswritingshitbutitry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:41:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/imcrapatthiswritingshitbutitry/pseuds/imcrapatthiswritingshitbutitry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kayla and Austin go missing and this is Will's reaction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nico di Angelo/Will Solace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>not your fault</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ALL of Will's (named) siblings have gone missing or died; that's gotta cause a hell of a lot of survivor's guilt, particularly as he's a doctor. And Apollo just does fuck all to make sure his last remaining kid is okay. I'm gonna add a bit at the end which isn't canon, but I think Apollo should at least try and do something for Will, even if it is just reassure him that it's not his fault, you know. Apollo becomes very humbled by his children's disappearance and he's starting to understand humans etc a bit more by this point so I don't think it's <em>completely</em> OOC.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Come on, Will," said Nico, trying to reign in his own anger as the grass around his feet shrivelled and blackened. "I'm not letting you go back to your own cabin tonight; I don't care what Chiron says." </p><p>Will said nothing and just let his boyfriend lead him towards the Hades cabin, which was dark and chilly compared to the Apollo cabin. But Nico knew that Will wouldn't survive a night there alone, not without his siblings. He knew Will didn't mind the cold much anyway as it gave them an excuse to snuggle in bed together. The other boy helped him change into a hoody before getting changed himself and pulling Will with him to his bed. </p><p>"We'll - we'll get caught by Chiron," said Will after a while. He sounded distant and it was a longer pause than Nico would have ever expected in this situation. </p><p>"I don't care. Everyone's too worried about Ka - everything that's going on to notice anyway," said Nico, almost about to say something more specific about Will's siblings before thinking that probably wasn't the best idea. </p><p>They lay in silence for a while, Will wrapping his arms around Nico's torso. He could feel the son of Apollo shaking so rolled over to face his boyfriend, taking Will's chin in his hand so they were making eye contact. Blue meeting dark brown. </p><p>"Will? Talk to me, please." </p><p>Still trembling, Will spoke, his voice laced with defeated resignation. "Lee and Michael would've never let this happen." </p><p>Nico very nearly blurted 'yeah, well, they're dead' but thought better of it. That <em>definitely</em> wouldn't be very helpful. He had no idea what <em>would</em> be helpful, though. What would Will or Jason or Hazel say in this situation? </p><p>"Will, your brothers are proud of you. You're an amazing Head Counsellor and an amazing older brother. You know Kayla and Austin love you," said Nico a little hesitantly. Was that comforting enough? </p><p>The other boy sniffled a little when Nico mentioned their names, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend like a koala. Nico ran a hand through his blond curls, hoping it would provide some comfort just like it always did for him and Will seemed to melt into Nico's arms at this, letting out a quiet, frustrated sigh. </p><p>"They would've demanded a quest or search party by now. They wouldn't just sit here and do nothing. They weren't useless - " </p><p>"Will," began Nico sternly. He correctly assumed that 'they' was referring to Will's brothers. "You are not useless. I promise that Michael and Lee are so proud of you. You're a brilliant healer and a brilliant Head Counsellor. Your younger siblings look up to you and you should be proud of that." </p><p>"Are they dead, Nico?" Will asked after another minute. His voice was almost inaudible and raspy, like he dared not voice what he was thinking. </p><p>Nico hesitated. "I - I don't know... I don't think so... I'd have probably felt something, but I can't be sure, sorry." Was he rambling? Probably. </p><p>Will didn't say anything else for a while but Nico could tell he wasn't asleep. When he did speak, his voice was firmer than Nico might have expected. "If - if you do feel anything, tell me. Please, Neeks, tell me. I'd rather find out from you than anyone else." </p><p>"I will, I promise. I'd never keep something like that from you, sunshine, especially not about your own siblings." </p><p>"Thanks." Will let out another frustrated sigh, slamming his fist into the duvet. "I just want to go out there and find them, you know. I just want to do something. I'm their brother. Someone has to and Apollo's doing fuck all." </p><p>"Hey, hey, I get it. Trust me, I understand, but there isn't anything we can do." </p><p>"I don't think he even cares about me," said Will, all anger suddenly dissipated. "Is that selfish? I just can't help thinking... if it had been me... would he have still sat out there all night? Or would he be inside comforting the others?" </p><p>Nico wasn't sure what to say to that. The gods were infamously bad at parenting; they always had been. Was there a scale he could use to determine how bad at parenting one specific god was? Apollo had never paid attention to his kids, but none of them had, except Hades and Poseidon, sort of, but only after years of radio silence. At least Nico knew Hades cared about him and wanted him to be happy, even if he wasn't great at showing it. </p><p>"No, sunshine. You're worth just as much as your siblings, and I'm sure Apollo values you all the same." </p><p>"But Kay - Kayla and Austin have their music and archery and they're great at healing too. What have I got that'd make me worth his time like that?" </p><p>"Will, you're one of the best healers this camp's seen in decades. Apollo is lucky to have you as his son and you shouldn't blame yourself just because he's too self-centred to see that." </p><p>"You're lucky he's human, or he'd smite you for that." </p><p>Nico just shrugged, bringing Will even closer to him. "It's the truth. Anyway, you need to sleep, sunshine. Staying up worrying won't do anyone any good." </p><p>"Isn't that what I always tell you?" </p><p>"Yes. Now, shut up before I use my powers and force you to sleep." </p><p>"You can do that?" </p><p>"Of course. There's no point making a threat that I can't keep." </p><p>Nico knew Will was still terrified for his siblings but appreciated that the other boy did at least close his eyes and try to settle down. He must have been more tired than he thought - probably from the strenuous healing involved when reattaching Paolo's leg - as within minutes, Will was sound asleep. </p><p>The son of Hades wasn't so lucky. Kayla and Austin were two of the first people (other than Will) to actually be nice to him after the war with Gaea. They'd looked after him in the infirmary, smiled cheerfully when he came by almost every day to help out and didn't care in the slightest when he got together with Will and started sitting with them at the Apollo table. He was basically their honorary sibling at this point. He desperately hoped, for Will's sake, that they'd be okay. </p><p>Surely he'd feel something if they died, right? Obviously it wouldn't be as strong as Bianca's or if someone like Jason or even Percy died, but he'd still feel something... probably. He hoped so. </p><p>When he eventually did fall asleep, it was to be woken up, just a few hours later by a knocking at his cabin door. When he checked the clock it had just gone half past eight. In his opinion, that was far too early for anyone to ever be wanting to talk to him. </p><p>As the knocking persisted, he rolled out of bed, carefully untangling himself from his half-asleep boyfriend. Clearly, the visitors weren't going anywhere. </p><p>"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" he called out while changing into a more presentable outfit. </p><p>Nico swung open the door only to be shocked by the sight of Apollo's human form standing in front of him. He didn't have Meg with him, but if they'd stayed up all night, she'd probably run off back to her cabin to sleep. </p><p>"Hello, Nico." </p><p>"Hi. Um... right, I'm assuming you're not here to see me." </p><p>Apollo looked a little unsure at that and looked downwards, which was weird. Nico never thought he'd see the 'great' god, Apollo, looking uncertain about anything, even if he was in human form. </p><p>"No, sorry. Is Will in there?" </p><p>Nico just nodded and held open the door. Will had got out of bed, changing into his usual camp attire and had just come out of the bathroom as Apollo walked in. He looked surprised to see him. </p><p>An awkward silence fell on the room for a moment before Will spoke. "Um, hi." </p><p>Apollo laughed awkwardly - again, something Nico never expected to see - and said, "Yeah, hello." </p><p>"Not to be rude, but did you want something?" </p><p>"Rachel's here - "</p><p>"Yeah, we heard the helicopter," said Nico. </p><p>"Right... well, Meg and I are going into the forest later. We think... well, something's going on and we want to fix it. And, I want to find Austin and Kayla, of course," he added, almost as an afterthought. </p><p>Will nodded, probably unsure of what to say. Nico found himself moving closer to his boyfriend and reaching for his hand, just so Will knew he was there if he needed him. The blond boy squeezed back gratefully. </p><p>"We're leaving later this afternoon, but first I wanted to see if you were alright."</p><p>"Of course I am," said Will - a blatant lie. "Why wouldn't I be?" </p><p>"Well, your two siblings did just go missing?" </p><p>"You think I don't know that," snapped Will. </p><p>Nico could see the other boy's anger and frustration building up. He knew how desperately Will wanted to storm out there and demand a search party for his two missing siblings, but the infirmary and injured campers came first. The camp and protecting everyone else came first. It would be selfish to go and search for them when he was needed, as the only healer and as an older Head Counsellor, at the camp. </p><p>"Will, I understand your frustration and fear," said Apollo hesitantly. </p><p>"No, you don't understand shit. You come in here, telling me you get it because you're their dad and you care about them, but you're not the one who had to comfort Kayla from weeks worth of nightmares after the war with Gaea. Or the one who had to tell Austin about Lee's death or Michael's disappearance." </p><p>There were tears glistening in Will's blue eyes now and Apollo had stepped back, eyes widening in shock. </p><p>"You didn't have to watch the hope dying in their eyes every time a search party came back with nothing, days and days after that final battle with Kronos." </p><p>Will's anger started to fade and he spoke slower, but with just as much venom towards the end of his tirade, looking directly at Apollo the entire time. Nico was still holding his hand and smiling proudly up at him. </p><p>"You've been here a day. I've been looking after them for years. When you first woke up, I was surprised you even knew my name. You've never cared before, so don't try and pretend you know even a fraction of what I'm going through right now." </p><p>He seemed to deflate on that last word, letting the tears fall and collapsing into his boyfriend's waiting arms. Nico held him close as he cried, rubbing his back and carding a hand through his blond hair just like he'd done last night. Apollo just stood and watched in stunned silence until Will had composed himself and straightened up again. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Will," he said quietly after another minute. "I completely agree with you." </p><p>"What?" </p><p>"I said I agree with you." </p><p>Will shuffled his feet a little awkwardly. "I was kind of expecting you to be angry." </p><p>Apollo shook his head. "I'm not angry at you for telling the truth. I am the god of truth after all and that would be rather hypocritical of me. I am truly sorry that I never showed myself, especially after the Titan war. You were too young to go through all of that, as were Lee and Michael, but I am proud of you and who you have become." </p><p>Now it was Will's turn to look shocked. His mouth actually fell open in a small, comical 'o' of surprise. </p><p>"Your healing skills are ones to rival my own and I am incredibly proud of you for that. I am proud to call you my son and to see you leading my cabin to greatness is an honour." </p><p>"Thank you." </p><p>Apollo just smiled. "Now, Meg and I have a job to do. I'll see you both later. Oh, and, don't worry, I have no plans of telling Chiron about your sleeping arrangement last night."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This may have turned into me projecting onto Will about my anger at everything he's been through and how that often gets overlooked.. but fuck it, I can post what I want on here so if I want Will to be angry with Apollo then that's what will happen XD</p></blockquote></div></div>
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